When shall we schedule this big makeout? How about Sunday, 8pm??

I’ll try to answer the 8 questions asked.
1. I think the use of pepper spray by the police can be justified, if they need it to maintain there safety, not if it is only to make a suspect cooperate. However, a lawyer can find out which are the actual regulations that apply to pepper-spray use by the police.
2. In general, if a bar tender notices behavior that could embarras the other guests, for example singing loudly, he can ask you to stop, and if you don’t he can ask you to leave. However, that does not allow a bar tender or owner to discriminate. So, if this bar allows other customers to engage in kissing on the mouth, they should allow you too. If that makes the owner or the other guests feel uneasy, that is essentially their problem.

To tell you the truth, it is hard for me to imagine that you can enjoy yourself and your company, after you noticed that there are people looking at you in disdain or embarrassment. So, from that moment on, it is not about relaxing anymore, but about standing up for your rights.

3. I think it is not wrong to be gay.

4. I think black Americans deserve to be treated the same as whites displaying the same behavior. I am not sure, though, whether you partner’s behavior should be judged the same as yours. It is possible he reacted just that little bit more docile and calm, to entice a different reaction from the police. And even if he did act the same as you, you may not be able to prove it. You should not enter the fight, if you are not prepared to lose a battle from time to time. However, you can find out whether you had a right (according to regulations) to have been issued a blanket.
5. Your tooth should not have been chipped. However, I do not expect that you will be able to prove that it was anything else than an accident. In their daily work, the police risk a lot of bruises, scars, insults, attacks, and worse, and these often come unexpected. Therefore, they are trained to react instantly and forcefully to restrain a suspect that looks as if he is going to try something that may or may not involve violence.
6. You have to go to court in October to clear your name, because the bar tender and owner and/or the police have accused you of behavior that constitutes disorderly conduct, and because you did not comply with the instructions given to you by the police. The questions what really happened, and whether you were justified in reacting in that way, those are exactly the questions that the court must answer. It is a hard to exterminate the misconception that only guilty people are brought before the court. Ever so often, innocent people need to defend themselves in court too.
7. I doubt it.
8. Perhaps giving my perspective was a little help. Further, you are going to need a lawyer.

Let’s answer the question of whether you did anything wrong or not: Obviously you did. You admit all over your account that you were non-compliant with the police. Whether you or any of us like it or not, we are bound by law to follow the orders of the police, clearly you did not when you argued with the police in the bar after they asked you to step outside. Once outside, you say the cops told you to settle down and you did not. At this point the police had every right to spray you. (Pepper spray is a non-lethal irritant used to protect police from people who are non-compliant, it’s used all the time with virtually no consequence for the police). Later you apparently reached for the phone after you didn’t use it in a timely manner and the police subdued you for this sudden move… seems like a reasonable response. My man, you made their case.

While it would be wonderful if anyone could go anywhere and be accepted or at least tolerated, that is not how it is… yet. So I either applaud your intestinal fortitude to walk into (what I’m assuming)is an Irish bar in an Irish town as a gay black man and kiss an older white man on the lips, or question your motives for doing so and getting the response that should have been assumed by you. And hey, even if you assumed the response and were willing to fight for your rights that’s cool too. But as you see, things don’t always turn out the way you planned. You gave your enemies too much ammunition.